Allowing Yourself To Be Sad

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Sometimes you have to allow yourself to be sad.

It’s difficult, but if you don’t do it, you’ll just be pushing it down till you can’t handle it anymore and it all comes out at once.
That’s when suicidal thoughts get ahold of you.

Let me be clear: Pain is inevitable.

“You will always feel pain at one point in life or another. But what you choose to do about the pain is key. You can be sad and take it day by day, or you can make yourself suffer.

Suffering is completely your choice. It’s optional. It doesn’t make the situation better, it doesn’t change anything. It just hurts you.

Allow yourself to feel pain, but don’t dwell on negative things.

For example, if you’re grieving the end of a relationship you can allow yourself to reflect on it and remember good times. You can think about what you loved about the person, yourself, and the relationship and know what you want to take with you to your next one.

But choosing to picture that person with someone else day in and day out, or telling yourself that the pain is never-ending isn’t fair.

Don’t do that to yourself.

The pain sucks, but it will subside.

That pain will seem so far away someday.

It will feel so foreign. You’ll forget what the pain even felt like. 

But only when you allow yourself to grieve will you someday be able to look back and say, “I’m okay now.”

So no matter what I’m dealing with pain-wise I’m going to keep this in mind. It doesn’t just work for relationships. It works for any kind of pain.

I’ll listen to my bittersweet band (Band of Horses) and just sit with the pain.

It’s a comfort to know that I can cry it out knowing I’ll push through the pain eventually.

Good luck. I believe in you.

-Jess

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