Finally settling in

So all of my boxes came in last week and I’m done sorting through all of it. At the moment I’m sleeping on a cot on the floor, but one of my wonderful co workers is moving and is selling me her queen sized bed for $150!!

So I should have my bed all set by the end of the week.

It’s weird. I can’t believe how well everything has worked out up until this point.

It scares me a little. Just waiting for the other shoe to drop.

When is life going to hurt again? When am I going to fall back into depression? When will I get fired? When will another failed future relationship beat me down again? When will I have to go back home because I couldn’t handle the  pressure?

When is my life going to unravel again?

It really sucks feeling this way because while I’m having these fears I’m feeling guilty for not enjoying the present moment.

It’s like a cycle.

Something good happens —-> I worry about the bad —–> something bad happens —–> I wish something good could happen

I just want to accept the bad and cherish the good, but it is easier said than done. 

-Jess

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