So you want to make sure you don’t fall for someone? You want to make sure to stay single and keep your heart protected?
The answer is simple. Don’t do what I’m doing.
——–Don’t start talking to someone two months before you move to Austin.
— Definitely don’t talk to him/her daily.
—Don’t share your favorite songs with him/her only to realize he/she has similar taste.
—Don’t share anything below the surface of who you are with him/her.
—Don’t listen to anything that promotes thinking of him/her.
—Do Not start daydreaming about what seeing them in person is going to be like.
—Don’t get to know him/her on a more personal level.
—Definitely don’t go on a date with him/her when you finally get here.
—Don’t freak out minutes before he/she arrives to your house and take two shots of Jager.
—Don’t stop breathing when you open the door and see him/her smiling at you.
—Don’t have an amazing time. Just don’t.
—Don’t fall for his/her undeniable charm.
—Don’t smile to yourself when you realize that he/she is even funnier than he/she was over text.
—Don’t realize how good it feels to feel something like this again.
—Don’t kiss him/her goodnight.
—Don’t continue to text back and forth daily.
—For the love of God, don’t go on a second date.
–I’m warning you. Don’t do it.
—Don’t sit on the same side of the booth.
—Don’t drink two beers and a whiskey neat. It’ll make you too honest with yourself.
—Don’t start thinking about how easy it is to hold a conversation with him/her.
—Don’t start thinking about how similar you are.
—Don’t let him/her make you laugh.
—Don’t hold his/her hand.
—Don’t admit to him/her that it feels so good to feel this way again in general.
—Don’t let your stomach drop when he/she closes his eyes, nods, and smiles in agreement.
—Don’t think about how nice it feels when he/she rubs the hand he/she is holding with such care.
—Don’t let him/her make you let your guard down just by looking in your direction.
—Definitely don’t kiss him/her goodnight again.
–And Don’t think about the fireworks after the kiss. Don’t do it.
—Dear Lord, DO NOT let him/her kiss your forehead and make you feel like the only person that matters in that second.
—And even if you do all of this. Even if you can’t control yourself and you let it get this far…
–If you want to keep your head above water, and survive this round of cupid’s wrath, just don’t cross this line.
Don’t go on a third date.
Because if you do…You will fall for him/her.
Just trust me on this one.