“Always Ask ‘how?” Guest blogger #5: Elizabeth Walters

Today’s guest blogger’s name is Elizabeth. Her and I went to high school together and connected on so many levels. Mostly because we went through similar hardships in our childhood. She has turned to poetry as an outlet, and I’m glad she did because she’s extremely talented.

“Given the fabulous name of Elizabeth at birth. Military brat. Never had a place to call home. Never had friends I grew up with. So I found comfort in other things. Writing is one of the few that seem to do a bit of distracting from my dysfunctional life. Enjoy. Ciao!”

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Why does she stay…

 

Breathing is my job.

You are my escape. Reality, forget me.

I forget you.

I am not the one falling in love.

My heart cannot.

Spending, bonding, with your first. Leaving.

My heart stayed.

Memories remain.

Secrets forever kept. Love will never regrow.

Memories is all we know.

You say, “I do.” But what if I say, “No.”

Till death do us part?

Desperation.

Urge.

Need.

Yet, hate.

Falling off the cliff is different than me jumping.

You were great.

To drive me to the place where the cliff sleeps, awake.

Loving me, stupid choice.

Loving you, no voice.

You handcuff me to your heart.

You swallow the key.

The only out is to watch you bleed.

Letting you go shall set me free.

Tears.

The weight of the world relying on our handshake.

Time waits for us to drop our hands.

Tick.

Tock.

A handshake of submission.

No freedom of speech. No vision.

No longer human.

Not dead. Not alive.

I feel you pulling me under.

Your heart beats in my head.

Holding my head upon your chest.

Held against my will.

Falling.

Murder or suicide?

Make me laugh.

Make me cry.

Hurt me one more time.

Make a sound.

Kill me sharply.

Drugs and knives,

Wrapped up with bowties.

Rape.

Beating.

Kicking and screaming.

This is my final testimony your reading.

I run.

The cliff.

It’s waiting on my right.

On my left is the dawn to my night.

I should choose

But I can’t.

Stop.

Turn around.

I see you.

“Manipulate me baby, just like you always do.”

_________________________________________________________________________________________________

Thank you, Liz, for your honesty and candor. Tomorrow will be my last guest blogger’s turn. He’s known for his 10 cities 10 years project, and I’m a huge fan. I hope you enjoy his writing as much as I do, but I don’t think it’s possible!

-Jess

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