I was talking to someone I didn’t know very well a few days ago. He was asking me about my 8 cities project because we had stumbled onto it in conversation. (no, it wasn’t a date or anything.) Anyway I told him that through the project I’d like to find contentment.
And he asked, “What is contentment to you?”
We had a very long conversation about it. I couldn’t seem to find the words to explain myself.
What is contentment? And what was the difference between happiness and contentment? So many questions. I’m a person that feels the need to define things.
When I’m casually dating someone I make sure they know it is casual. (Yet, somehow guys don’t get it.)
I define myself as many different things.
After being asked this question I actually thought about it for days. It was really bothering me. Was contentment the wrong word?
Naturally I looked up the definition.
a state of happiness and satisfaction.Okay…. well I mean that works, but it was so much more than that. A synonym that also caught my eye was fulfillment.ful·fill·mentfo͝olˈfilmənt/noun
1.satisfaction or happiness as a result of fully developing one’s abilities or character.ahhh…. There it was. A word to better explain what I’m seeking in life. But perhaps I could use both. I would like to be content through fulfillment.Before I began planning this project, I set goals, achieved them, then sat there in my happiness and achievements and thought… well this fucking sucks. So now I’ve stopped putting so much pressure on myself to be “happy”. the happy moments happen when I’m living my life. Instead of my goal being to finish the project, my goal is to live the project in hopes that I will find the one (or many) things that I want to do with my life.Even if there is no perfect word to describe what I want, I will say this:What I want isn’t to pick a life that I can live with, but instead to find a life that I can’t live without.And there it is. That is what this project is all about.-Jess