Do I?

Do I bum you out?

Does every word that come out of my mouth make you worry?

Did it feel any different when I said them six months ago?

Do I scare you?

Do I deserve to be here?

Do I want to be here?

At the end of the day, is my life worth all of the pain and suffering?

Do I sound crazy?

Do I?

I might.

I might even be crazy to think I fit into this perfect little puzzle.

I’m not like everyone else.

I’m not meant to be like everyone else.

Maybe I’m meant to die young.

Maybe that’s all this was for.

Or maybe I’ll do something great.

Something so great i’ll be remembered for it forever.

But tonight I’m just a sick little existential flea.

Tonight I’m just me.

Just Jess.

And I may be really messed up.

And I may use “and” at the beginning of every other sentence.

And I may eat my cup o’ noodles like a freak.

And I may be extremely depressed.

And I may have lived through a shithole of a childhood.

And I may never know what it’s like to be normal.

And I may only be good at lots of things, but never great at one thing.

But that’s me.

That’s Jess.

And I accept that this is who I am right now.

I accept that a thousand different decisions and mistakes and accomplishments and sacrifices and memories made me this way.

Do you?

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